The Principle Of The Ant

6 Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! 7 Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, 8 they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. {Proverbs 6:6-8, NLT}

²⁰ The wise store up choice food and oil, but fools gulp theirs down. {Proverbs 21:20, TNIV}

17 Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. {1 Timothy 6:17}

            Today we continue in a series entitled “Financial Peace In Turbulent Times.”

            These last few weeks we have been looking at some of the commands that God gives us regarding the use of our financial resources.

            God is clear in Scripture how we are to handle the gifts God gives us.

            Let me take just a minute and do a quick review.

            As I read the Bible, God has 5 simple and clear commands for the healthy use of our money:

            First, God commands us to give. In Proverbs 3:9 the Bible tells us we are to:

9 Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops (TNIV).

            Second, God commands us to pay our taxes. In Romans 13:7 the Bible says:

            7 Give to everyone what you owe: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor (TNIV).

            Third, God commands us to pay our debts. Psalm 37:21 says,

“The wicked borrow and never repay, but the godly are generous givers.” (NLT)

            Fourth, God commands us to provide for the needs of our family. 1 Timothy 5:8 says,

“8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (TNIV)

            Fifth, and finally, God commands us to save for the needs of the future. Proverbs 21:20 says,

“The wise store up choice food and oil, but fools gulp theirs down.” {Proverbs 21:20, TNIV}

            Today I want us to focus on the idea of financial peace through saving.

            How exactly does saving give us financial peace?

            Why does God want us to save?

            How are you when it comes to saving?

            Do you regularly put away funds to help with future expenses?

            Maybe you are like the couple I heard about:

            After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:          “Honey, we’ve finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1989.”   
            “You mean a brand-new Cadillac?” she asked eagerly.   
            “No,” he replies, “a 1989 Cadillac.”  
            The typical American spends more each year that they make.

            The average saving rate for an American household is -1% (negative one percent).

            That means that Americans either dipped into their savings or borrowed to finance the things they purchase each year.

            No one can sustain that type of lifestyle indefinitely! Saving -1% a year eventually means you will end up with nothing.

            This level of -1% saving is the lowest in American history since 1933, during the Great Depression. Then the average saving was -1.5%.

            God has given us two clear principles to help us understand the need to save. Let’s look at them.

 (1) God’s plan for God’s people is to save today for future needs (Proverbs 6:7-8, Proverbs 21:20).

6 Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! 7 Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, 8 they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. {Proverbs 6:6-8, NLT}

²⁰ The wise store up choice food and oil, but fools gulp theirs down. {Proverbs 21:20, TNIV}

            The first principle of saving comes from nature. The Bible says, “Take a lesson from the ants! (Proverbs 6:6).

            God’s Word tells us, “Everything you need to know about saving you can discover by looking at an any colony.” God has designed ants so they are able to calculate very accurately what they’ll need to get through the winter; they then gather and store that amount during the summer and autumn.
            In fact, that’s a good description of “saving”: Looking forward to a future need, then putting aside whatever is necessary to meet that upcoming requirement so you won’t have to borrow.
            The most basic type of savings that we need is commonly called an “emergency fund.” It is an amount of money that we save to meet “unexpected needs” in the future.

            Let’s face it. You and I both know we will have unexpected needs in the future. Let’s go ahead and “expect them!”

            The way to prepare for them is to begin to save now the resources that we will need then!

            A good rule of thumb is to have $500 to $1000 set aside in an emergency fund.

            This is the principle of the ant!

            Let’s see how this works.

            Since we know the unexpected will happen, and we are going to expect it to do so, why don’t we generalize…at least once a year you and I are going to have an “unexpected emergency” that will cost us…say, an average of $500 each time.

            What happens if we don’t prepare now for this?

            When it comes and we do not have a $500 emergency fund and we do not have an extra $500 lying around, we will have to borrow $500 from a credit card to pay it.

            This solves the emergency in the short term, but now we have to start making payments to the credit card company.

            Now we still don’t have a $500 emergency fund, we have had emergency #1 and we have the added burden of paying $20 a month to the credit card company (plus interest).

            A year from now emergency #2 comes upon us.

            Now are problem begins to compound itself.

1. We are still trying to pay for Emergency #1 (we will still owe $350)
2. We will still be paying the interest to the credit card for Emergency #1
3. It is probable that we were not able to save up for emergency #2, since they were still spending extra money to pay for emergency #1, therefore they will have to borrow again to pay for Emergency #2
4. Now we are paying back both Emergency #1 and #2 ($850 total), paying interest on both amounts borrowed, and in even a more difficult place to start saving for emergency #3 since their minimum payment increased to $35.

            Do you see the mess we are getting ourselves into? Imagine what this vicious cycle will look like in 5 to 10 years!

            For some, this is the way they live throughout their whole life!

            The Bible tells us there is another way:

            “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.” -Proverbs 27:12 (NIV)

            What would this same situation look like if we had a $500 emergency fund?

            You begin today to save $50 a month for the next year…hopefully BEFORE the next “unexpected emergency” arrives…because now you are going to “expect” it!

            12 months later here comes Emergency #1…at a cost of $500.

            (1) The good news is that in the last 12 months you have saved $600 for Emergency #1…you have more than enough!

            (2) Not only that but you have earned some interest on your savings in the last 12 months so you have an extra $15…for a total of $615.

            (3) You can pay Emergency #1 off in full, and have a $115 head start saving for Emergency #2.

            (4) In the meantime you will still be earning some interest on what you have saved already and the amount that you are putting away ($50 a month) for Emergency #2.

            (5) When Emergency #2 rolls around next you will have saved $735 to pay for the $500 emergency. You can pay it in full and have $235 remaining for Emergency #3.

            Now, imagine how that will look in 5 or 10 years!

            That’s the principle of the ant!

            Now you may be thinking just like me, “Where am I going to get an extra $50 a month to save? I am already spending everything I have each month just to pay the bills I have now!”

            Saving is a matter of priority!

            The reason we do not save is because we have higher priorities.

            The pizza we bought is a higher priority than saving.

            The new computer we bought is a higher priority than saving.

            The movie tickets we bought is a higher priority than saving.

            The Starbucks coffee is a higher priority than saving.

            Here is the key biblical principle when it comes to saving…As yourself, “What are my priorities?”

            According to the Bible this is easy.

            When you receive income you

Pay God first. That’s the tithe.

Your pay yourself second. That’s your saving.

You pay your bills third.

            Until you pay God first, yourself second, and then everyone and everything else, you will never save money for the future!

            Now before we leave this subject, let’s ask ourselves, can we really save any money?

            Sure we can…I know where we can get an extra $7,000…even in this economy!

            By eliminating one $2.00 bag of potato chips (not all just 1 bag) from your grocery bill each week you can save $104.00 per year.

            Cutting out one six-pack of soft drinks will save another $104.

            A weekly $4.00 box of cereal adds up to $208 a year.

            If you eat out one less time each week at $30 a meal, you can save $1,560 and ordering one less delivered pizza at $20, can save you $1040 per year.

            Similar annual savings can be realized by cutting out weekly purchases of fruit rolls ($130), daily gourmet coffee at $2.50 per cup ($910), a daily liter of soda ($365), snack cakes ($455), one less bottled water ($455), one cup less juice per person in a family of four ($546), 3 lbs. less red meat a week ($390), and by eliminating a $4.00 lunch five days a week ($1040).

            By themselves, these efforts may seem small–but they add up to over $7,000.

            Saving is a matter of priority. We will never start saving until we make it a top priority in our lives.

            God has another principle for us when it comes to saving:

(2)There is no security in saving…only in God (1 Timothy 6:17).

17 Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. {1 Timothy 6:17, NLT}

            A year ago many of us would have had trouble understanding the idea that to trust in money is to place our confidence and security in a source that is “unreliable.” Before the economic downturn we had a lot of confidence that banks were solvent, the mortgage system was healthy, jobs were secure, and investments were growing.

            But today, just one year later, we know all too well how unreliable money can be.

            The Bible tells us not to put our trust in money, but to put our trust in God, and God alone.

            It is ironic that the currency of the United States contains the phrase, “In God we trust.” It is almost a warning to us from our leaders who came before us to tell us, “Don’t put your trust in these paper bills and coins…you can’t count on them. Put your trust in God alone.”

            Jesus told a story (see Luke 12:16-21) of a man who was a successful businessman. One year his crops were so plentiful that he had nowhere to store his harvest. He said to himself, “I need to tear down my barns and build bigger barns. Then I can sit back, relax, eat, drink, and enjoy my life. I have everything I need.”

            Unfortunately for the man, it was his last day to live. And Jesus ended the story with these words, “So it is with those who are rich in the things of the world, but who are poor in the things of God.”

            The man felt he had everything he needed for success in life. He had enough money and resources that he saw no other need in his life. But his resources were not enough to give him eternal security. In that area, he was very poor.

            His trust was in his resources, instead of in “the Source.”

            Even in this tough economic time, we can trust God. Bank accounts may rise and fall, the stock market may go up or down, unemployment numbers may increase or decrease, but God will remain constant and faithful.

            The only “social security” in this life is found in God.

            God intends for us to be wise in our use of the gifts God gives us, but God does not intend for us to put our trust in those gifts.

            Our trust, in good times or bad, is secure only with God!

            Even the ants, as hard as they work, have to rely on their Creator to sustain their lives and provide for their needs.

            Today is a good day for us to “take a lesson from the ant!”

Financial Peace In The Checkout Line

Haggai 1:5-9

⁵ Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

    ⁷ This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the LORD. ⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.

 

Romans 12:2

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 

            I heard someone say that in this economy people have been praying more than usual.

            In fact, I heard someone say they had been praying the “shopper’s prayer” a lot lately.

            “The shopper’s prayer?” I said, “What’s the shopper’s prayer?”

            So they said:

The Shoppers Prayer–

“Our cash
Which art on plastic
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Cartier watch
Thy Prada bag
Online
As it is in store
Give us each day our Platinum Visa
And forgive those that stop us spending
And lead us not unto Louis Vuitton
For thine is the Gucci
The Dior and the Armani
For Chanel No.5 and Eternity
AMEX”

 

            In this series, “Financial Peace In Turbulent Times” I have been confronted with a couple of questions that we rarely ask in church, or in the check out line at Wal-Mart:

            1) Do you think God cares how you spend your money?

            2) Do you think God has any principles to help guide us in how to spend our money?

            Listen to that Old Testament text from Haggai chapter 1 again:

Haggai 1:5-7

⁵ Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

    ⁷ This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.”

            Have you ever been in that situation?

            Have you ever worked out but only took home a little?

            Have you ever looked in the refrigerator and saw how empty the thing looked?

            Have you ever looked in the cupboard and found it was nearly bare?

            Do you ever look in your closet and say, “I don’t have a thing to wear?”

            Have you ever cashed your check on pay day, gone home to a stack of bills, only to emerge an hour later asking, “Where did all the money go?”

            Do you know what it is like to live from paycheck to paycheck?

 

            God comments on all these situations through the Old Testament prophet Haggai.

            And God bookends His comments on our spending habits with the same questions asked two different times:

“Give careful thought to your ways.” {Haggai 1:5, 7}

            Do you think God is interested in how we spend our money?

            It sounds like, doesn’t it?

            Do you know why God cares about how we spend our money?

            God knows that the financial resources He provides us are to help us meet all our needs, advance the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and help others who are in need themselves. But God knows much better than we do, that money can be used for good, for evil, or just simply wasted.

            Every day we are bombarded with advertising telling us that our lives will simply not be satisfying and happy unless we spend our money on the latest cell phone, a brand new car, or the latest fashion.

            We are told with a straight face that simply applying body spray will cause members of the opposite sex to chase after us like moths to a flame.

            We are convinced that we have never been warm, and we will never be warm, unless we buy a “Snuggie” and that now they are available in Leopard skin patterns.

            We are told that our lives will never have meaning unless we use the brand of toothpaste that comes with breath freshener and teeth whitener.

            There are thousands of messages every day that clamor for our attention through the press, television, radio, billboards, salespeople, and store displays—all designed to get us to buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know, and to find happiness where it simply cannot be found.

            God understands the seductive power of temptation better than we do.

            And God’s remedy for us is found in Romans 12:2:

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

            God wants us to stop being influenced by the pattern of this world, and instead by transformed in the way we think.

            God says, “My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts.”

            God desires for us to stop letting Madison Avenue and TV infomercials pattern our thinking, and instead to let God renew our minds and help us think clearly about how we spend our money.

 

            This message is called, “Financial Peace In The Check Out Line.”

            I want us to picture a metaphor today. I want us to see God standing with us in the Wal-mart check out line. He is looking in the buggy at the things we are about to purchase. And as we stand there, God begins to ask us some questions.

            What do you think those questions would be?

Here are some questions to ask when standing in the check out line:

(1) Can I pay cash for this purchase or will it put me in debt?

Deuteronomy 28:12

¹² The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none.

            This is one of life’s simplest principles to understand, and evidently, one of life’s most difficult principles to live out. People in our country are notorious for buying things we can’t afford. Purchasing things we don’t have the money for is almost a right for Americans. If we don’t have the money to pay for something, we can always pull out a piece of plastic and put it on our account.

            Here’s what God says about this behavior in Deuteronomy 28:

“I will open the heavens, the storehouse of my bounty, and I will send rain on your land in season, and I will bless all the work of you hands. You will lend to others but you will not need to borrow from any.”

            God’s Word to us is that if we will follow His principles for our lives, He will bless our work, provide for all of our needs, even to the level where we can help others, and not have to borrow from others.

            Do you believe that is even possible in our world today?

            Have you ever considered that God wants to be involved with us in our spending decisions?

            Have you ever thought that God wants to be the one who supplies all our needs, and not some other source (like Visa, or Master Card)?

            Have you ever thought that when we buy things we cannot afford with money we do not have, we are putting ourselves in bondage to others, and are missing out on opportunities to help others in need?

            Have you ever stopped to think when you are about to buy something you can’t afford that maybe God is trying to tell you, “Instead of relying on someone else to provide this for you, why not wait and let Me provide it for you?”

            “But it’s a good deal, why shouldn’t I spend my money on this? It’s a real bargain; I’m going to save so much money!”

            Have you ever told yourself that?

            I have…a lot of times.

            Let’s think about bargains:

If the house is worth $250,000 and you were able to buy it for $200,000, how much money did you save?

If the sweater originally cost $80 and you got it on sale for $30 how much did you save?

            Now really, tell the truth. If you spent $200,000 on a house and $30 on a sweater, you didn’t actually save anything! You spent $200,030!

            If we keep “saving” like that, we’ll soon be broke!

            And to compound things, if you spent $200,030 that you couldn’t afford, it doesn’t matter how good a deal it is! Nothing is a good deal if we can’t afford it.

            Do you know that God isn’t behind every good deal. Suppose we can afford it. Does that mean we should buy it? Self-control often means turning down good deals on things we really want because God may have better plans for His money.

            Before we spend money we really don’t have we should think that maybe God wants an opportunity either to provide for your needs Himself, or to show you they aren’t needs before you take things into your own hands.

            Just because you can afford something, it doesn’t mean God wants you to get it.

            Increased income isn’t necessarily God saying “Spend more.” More often his real message is “Give more.” (2 Corinthians 8:14;9:10,11)

(2) Do I have peace about making this purchase?

Colossians 3:15

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Proverbs 15:16

¹⁶ Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil.

            This one step would save us a lot of “buyer’s remorse in our lives!”

            Have you ever pulled out your check book to make a purchase and you knew that something just didn’t feel right?

            Some years ago, one of our sons wanted to try to buy a vintage guitar on eBay.

            We had never tried to do that before. I still haven’t.

            But he found a guitar that interested him over in Europe somewhere, and he started bidding on it.

            To our surprise his was the highest bid, but the auction remained open for a few more days. His bid stayed at the top of the list for several days. Finally it was the last day for the auction. We watched the countdown of the last few minutes. His bid was still the highest. It looked like he would win the auction. Then at the last minute someone else made a higher bid and he lost the chance to buy this guitar.

            He was disappointed, but in the process, he found another guitar, and this one was for sale in a music store right here in North Carolina. He had enough money to pay for it, so he talked his mom into driving him to the store the next day. Just after he bought that guitar he received word from eBay that the person who had made the winning bid on the first guitar he wanted was unable to fulfill his commitment, and now the second highest bidder had the right to purchase the guitar. Right away our son started thinking of how he could afford to buy both guitars.

            He knew he had enough money, though it would be tight.

            But something just didn’t seem right about that email.

            I couldn’t imagine what had happened at eBay to cause this change overnight.

            Not long after getting that email I talked with a friend of mine who had made a number of purchases on eBay. I told him about our son’s “good fortune” and he immediately told me, “Don’t let him do it. It’s a scam.”

            He explained to me that this was a dummy website that wanted to get our son to send his financial information to them so they could steal his money. There was no guitar for him to buy.

            You know, something just didn’t seem right from the very beginning. If something seems too good to be true, it often is too good to be true.

            We just didn’t have peace about spending that money, and in the end, it saved our son several hundred dollars.

            The Bible tells us to “let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.” When we don’t have peace about a purchase, it is probably wise for us to hold off on buying it.

(3) Is it a matter of need or of greed?

Luke 12:15

¹⁵ Then [Jesus] said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

1 Timothy 6:9

⁹ Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

1 Corinthians 10:23

²³ “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

            We all have needs—food, shelter, utilities, clothes, transportation… but not everything we buy is a “need.”

            While I need food every day, I don’t “need” steak and lobster every day.

            Before we buy some things we should ask ourselves, “Is this something I really need, or is this something that the TV, the magazine, or my next door neighbor tells me I just have to have?”

            If I buy this thing, will it be profitable to my family, my spiritual growth, my health, my ministry, the Lord’s reputation, and will it increase my love for the Lord or could it hinder it?

            One of my neighbors passed away a couple of years ago. Since that time the family has held 3 yard sales and an auction in order to clean out all of the “stuff” that was accumulated over a lifetime of living well.

            3 yard sales and an auction! If you decided to clean out all the things in your life that you really don’t need, or use any more, how many yard sales and auctions would it take? I don’t even want to answer that, do you?

(4) What does this purchase tell me about my priorities in life?

Matthew 6:33

³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Proverbs 16:8

⁸ Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice.

Mark 8:36

³⁶ What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul?

            Where is God’s Kingdom in this purchase?

            Where is my faith in this purchase?

            What does this purchase tell me about what is really important in my life?

            Yesterday as I was on my way to Wal-Mart in a pouring rain, I passed three men walking away from the store with a couple of plastic Wal-mart bags in their hands. When I passed by them they were roughly 2 or 3 blocks from the store. I could see the Wal-mart sign in the distance. Since it was raining so hard, the three men had the hoods on their sweat shirts pulled up, their cap bills pulled down, and they were hunched over, heading into the rain. I thought to myself, “These guys must have seriously felt they needed to make a trip to Wal-Mart, to do so on foot in a driving rain. I wonder what they purchased?”

            As I passed by them I was able to see through their rain soaked plastic Wal-Mart bags and inside were 2 cases of Bud Light.

            Our purchases tell us a lot about what is really important in our lives.

            John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, used to ask himself, and the early Methodist’s 4 questions before deciding to spend money to buy something:

1) In spending this money am I acting as if I owned it, or am I acting as the Lord’s trustee?

2) What Scripture requires me to spend this money in this way?

3) Can I offer up this purchase as a sacrifice to the Lord?

4) Will God reward me for this expenditure at the resurrection of the just?

            What do you think would happen if we asked ourselves these questions from John Wesley before we got to the check out line?

            Why don’t we give this a try in the next seven days…before we get to the checkout register, how about asking ourselves these questions:

(1) Can I pay cash for this purchase or will it put me in debt?

(2) Do I have peace about making this purchase?

(3) Is it a matter of need or of greed?

(4) What does this purchase tell me about my priorities in life?

Finishing Strong

           For many years I have been an avid reader of Dan Reiland’s articles, “The Pastor’s Coach.” Just the title brings back images of my youth when I learned so much about sports skills, strategies, and life, from some great coaches that I had growing up. Reiland always has something to say that I need to hear!

           Reiland recently wrote an article that combined two of my loves into one article, music and ministry. He wrote about his experience at a recent concert featuring Crosby, Stills & Nash more than 40 years after their appearance at Woodstock (in 1969!). His reflections on finishing strong really spoke to me. I hope they will speak to you. Here are Reiland’s comments in full:

“40 Years Later”
by Dan Reiland

They played before an audience for only the second time in 1969, to a crowd of 500,000. Their first song was “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes.” It was at the Woodstock (Music) Festival near White Lake, New York. This event was held on Max Yasgur’s 600 acre dairy farm! Do you know the group? Crosby, Stills and Nash.

My wife Patti and I recently saw CSN at the Chastain Park Amphitheater in Atlanta, Georgia. Chastain is a great outdoor “rain or shine” venue with a cool tradition of picnicking before and during the concert. The food varies from a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken to the finest of wine and cheese over a linen tablecloth, and everything between. The music varies just as much as the food, with talent from James Taylor to the Dobbie Brothers to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.

It rained that night, and no one cared. The rain only lasted about 15 minutes and helped to cool things off from what could have been another sweltering summer night in Georgia. They opened with a great acoustic set that showed-off their famous harmonies. That set the stage well for the second set where they kicked in with some of their classic rock numbers.

One thing that couldn’t help but be noticed was the multi-generational crowd. All ages from all backgrounds were there singing every word to every song! Patti and I were part of a group of six. Four were twenty-somethings, and well, let’s just say we are just a bit older!

It was a wonderful night and I couldn’t help but notice a few things that can translate to good questions about leadership.

• Who are your friends?

It’s amazing to consider that David Crosby, Stephen Stills and Graham Nash have been friends for over 40 years. They’ve had their ups and downs and a few rough patches, but who hasn’t? We live in a day and age when marriage vows are optional, and roughly 50% don’t make it. So when it comes to the commitment of friendship, it is completely up for grabs.

It hasn’t been an easy road. They’ve had to negotiate everything from technical business contracts with all the minutia of royalties, to the artistic side of what notes are in what songs and who sings what part! Most marriages couldn’t survive that!

Pastors move. That’s just part of the calling of ministry, and that can be rough on friendships. Some move often and a few enjoy long tenures. Whether you are long term or short term in your church, it’s critical that you know who your true long term friends are. One of my mentors, Keith Drury, now a professor at Indiana Wesleyan University taught that by 40 years of age, we ought to know who our life-long friends are. I think he’s right.

Some pastors don’t believe it’s wise to have close friends within the church they serve, and others wouldn’t have it any other way. I believe the latter. I have deep and meaningful relationships from the churches I’ve served. The risk is greater when your close friends are in the church, but the potential reward is even greater.

I’ve also been blessed to have established great friendships during the years I served as a church consultant and leadership development coach with John Maxwell and INJOY. Still today there are many pastors who pray for me and I pray for them. We talk church, swap ideas and share some of the rough times together too. If it sounds like I’ve been blessed with friendships, I have. But I will tell you that friendships, especially the meaningful ones that last, don’t happen by themselves. They require intentional effort. I don’t mean mechanical networking. I mean taking the time to keep in touch on a personal level, and staying involved even when it’s not convenient. Genuinely caring about people always makes a difference.

• Are you doing what you love?

Some late night comedians and others like to take shots at old rockers like CSN. The last one I heard said: “Yeah, I saw them last week and they just keep coming back older, fatter and balder!” OK, it’s a little true. Crosby, Stills and Nash are grandfathers! But you just have to watch them play. They absolutely love what they do, and they are good at it! All of us thoroughly enjoyed the concert. It was like the three of them were old friends of ours and we all enjoyed the evening together.

CSN make jokes about themselves being able to remember the words and their hands not being as fast as they once were for those hot licks on lead guitar. But who cares?! Hey, if you and I can lead as well as they can sing and play when we are their age, we’ll be doing great. Let me be blunt. They can still draw thousands of people to a concert! Isn’t that a little like what you are trying to do? You want to draw people to church, and for something much greater than a music concert. The point is that it’s so important to love what you do. I believe that has everything to do with how long you are effective as a pastoral leader. When you stop loving church work, you are done!

So do you still love what you do? Church work can be rough. You serve people who think you work one day a week and have no idea you work 60 or more hours every week! The same people who fuss at you to take a day off, fuss at you if you try to take a day off on the day they want you for something. Living out those tensions isn’t easy, especially in smaller churches. You’ve got to love what you do to stay in the game.

You must also know where you are going to love what you do. I don’t think I’ve ever met a leader who is spinning their wheels without direction who loves what they do. On the other hand, I know many leaders in difficult and stressful situations who absolutely love what they do because they know where they want to go. It makes such a big difference. There are moments when you may not love what you do, but you can always be doing what you love.

• Are you playing new music?

I met Crosby, Stills, and Nash when they played at a cool downtown venue in San Diego. That was a number of years ago and they were more engaged in writing and playing new songs. I could tell they loved playing the new stuff even though the crowd wanted to hear their favored classics.

The new stuff keeps any band energized and in the game. When you write new stuff, you must write from the heart and write what you feel, but you must also write what record publishers will get behind and sell! You must write what radio stations will play. This kind of stress keeps you sharp, and good and in the game.

The best of the best keep writing new songs. I’m a fan of Paul McCartney. He’s 67 and still writing and singing new songs. He too was recently in Atlanta and played to an outdoor crowd of over 40,000 people. Even though all the fans wanted to hear the vintage Beatle songs, I believe the new stuff is what keeps McCartney going.

So how about you as a leader? Are you only playing the same old songs you’ve always played? The people may love some of them, but if you don’t dig in and write some new stuff, the crowds will start to dwindle. You must grow as a leader, listen to new ideas, and learn new ways of doing things. You may think that will drain you of your energy, but in fact, it will energize you.

I have some of my most fun learning from our twenty-somethings on staff. If you think about it, one of the reasons they are so alive and lead well is that all their “songs” are new. Life and leadership is all fresh for them! Keep pressing forward. Keep learning, keep thinking, and may your leadership play out like a new song for the people you lead!

The Greatest Don’t Have To Tell You They Are Great

What do you think about people who are all about calling attention to themselves? They are the ones that have to sing the loudest in the choir, or brag the most about their accomplishments. They also seem to be the ones who are always in the midst of one drama after another.

Why do people do that?

 

Just recently I read something from Craig Groeshcel, the pastor of Lifechurch.tv that helped me with this:

When looking for great leaders, those who are truly great (or potentially great) usually don’t tell you they are great. In fact, they often don’t realize they are exceptionally gifted by God to lead.

With rare exceptions, when someone initially rattles off a resume of success, I find that most of the time these “apparently” great leaders either are:

A) very insecure, or

B) overselling themselves.

Those who are truly the best don’t seem to be driven to convince you they are the best. The most gifted do more than they talk.

 

I think pastor Groeschel is on to something here. What do you think?

It All Belongs To God

Deuteronomy 10:12-14

¹² And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, ¹³ and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? ¹⁴ To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it.

 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

 

            Just this week we celebrated an ominous anniversary for our country. This past Tuesday (September 15, 2009) we commemorated the one year anniversary of the fall of the Leman Brothers Bank. In many ways, it was the fall of Leman Brothers Bank that became the first domino to down in what was soon an all out financial meltdown in the United States economy. On the day that Leman Brothers filed for bankruptcy the Dow Jones Stock Exchange fell 500 points, the single greatest one day decline since the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.  And with that, the whole house of cards began to collapse. We find ourselves today, one year later, still impacted by an uncertain economy.

            I want to begin a new series today called “Financial Peace In Turbulent Times.” Over the last year I have been reminded time and time again that the church has done a poor job in teaching people God’s principles of finance and money management. Oh, once a year or so we begrudgingly work in a message or a study on giving, which precipitates comments for the following several weeks about how all the church does is talk about money. Then we shy away for the next 51 weeks.

            I will be the first to tell you, that we have done the church a disservice by omitting the teachings of the Bible, in the areas of money management, and fiscal responsibility.

            Jesus talked about money management more than He talked about heaven. There are more than 1,600 verses in the Bible that speak to the issue of financial management. God filled the Scriptures, from the Old Testament to the New Testament with wise counsel of the proper use of money. And we have virtually overlooked everything that God has tried to teach us.

            The events of the past 12 months have been very revealing to me. So I want to offer this series to help us understand God’s financial principles and in the meantime, hopefully to experience financial peace in these turbulent times.

            Let me tell what got me thinking about this series. As the economic meltdown took place over the past year, I began to notice a pattern in comments that I heard, and situations that I saw. I noticed that the financial strain in our economy was starting to put a strain of marriages, families, and relationships.

            According to a survey asking the question, “Do finances create conflict in your marriage?” 82% of the people responding said “yes.” 11% of the people said “sometimes,” and only 5% said “no.” Do the math on that for a moment. When asked the question, “Do finances create conflict in your marriage?” 93% of those surveyed said, “yes, at least sometimes.”

            93%! That’s an epidemic!

            If 93% of the population came down with the swine flu, our country would be in a panic.

            But here we have 93% of people surveyed declaring that finances create conflict in their marriage.

            Is there any way to find financial peace in those situations?

            Is there a way for us to have financial peace even in the midst of our present economic downturn and an uncertain economic future?

            And one more question…and this is the important one…does the Bible offer us any wisdom to live by, in turbulent economic times?

            That’s what this series for the next few weeks is all about.

            So let’s dive in.

            The first principle that we are going to look at today, is the key to financial peace. Everything else in life is built on this one idea. Here it is:

(1) Everything Belongs To God.

Psalm 24:1-2

¹ The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; ² for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.

            What belongs to God? “The earth, and everything in it!” When the Bible says “everything belongs to God,” what does that cover? It covers everything!

            The late Bishop Edwin Hughes once delivered a powerful sermon on “God’s Ownership” that got under the skin of a wealthy member of his church. The wealthy man took the Bishop to his elaborate estate for lunch, and then walked him through his elaborate gardens, woodlands, and farm. “Now are you going to tell me,” he demanded when the tour was completed, “that all this land does not belong to me?” Bishop Hughes smiled and suggested, “Ask me that same question a hundred years from now.”

            Someone said, “The surest way to prove that everything belongs to God and not to us, is to die.”

            No one comes into this world wearing diapers, and no one takes anything with them when they leave this world.

            We already know the answer to the question, “How much are they going to leave behind when they die?”

            “All of it!”

            In the Old Testament lesson from Deuteronomy this morning you read these words:

¹⁴ To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. {Deuteronomy 10:14}

            Everything belongs to God, the Bible says. And what does God say we are to do?

Trust God, and obey God. Listen to those words again:

¹² And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, ¹³ and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? {Deuteronomy 10:12-13}

            Everything belongs to God. All we are asked to do by God is to acknowledge that truth, and to obey Him. He is in charge of all the rest!

 

 

(2) Everything I Have Belongs To God.

1 Chronicles 29:11-14

¹¹ Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.  ¹² Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. ¹³ Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. ¹⁴ “But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.

 

Haggai 2:8

⁸ ‘The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the Lord Almighty.

            At dinner one night this week, the discussion turned to one of our sons who had gotten his braces off this week. Family members were commenting on how his teeth looked. I made the comment that they were not “his” teeth. Since I had written the check for the braces, I said I felt like they were “our teeth.” They were in his mouth, but I was the owner of them.

            Then this discussion broke out about who really owned these teeth.

            Finally someone said, “They belong to God. They are God’s teeth.” Someone else said, “The money that paid for those teeth came from God. God is the owner of them.”

            That was a good dinner table discussion!

            Everything in our lives takes on a new appearance when we realize that all we have belongs to God, and is a gift to us from God.

            When we begin to live by that truth, we appreciate what we have much more, and we use the things we have, much differently.

            The Swiss watchmaker Patek Philippe is known for their high end, luxury watches. They are also known in Europe for having a catchy advertising slogan: “You never actually own a Patek Philippe; you merely take care of it for the next generation.”

            So it is with what we “own”: money, gifts, ministries, time, and our very lives.

 (3) I Belong To God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

            Not only does the Bible tell us that everything we have belongs to God, but clearly we are taught that even our very lives belong to God as well.

            The Bible says we were both made by God, and bought by God.

            Once there was a young boy who spent many hours building a little sailboat, crafting it with care down the smallest detail. He then took it to a nearby river to sail it. When he put it in the water, however, it moved away from him very quickly. Though he chased it along the bank, he couldn’t keep up with it. The strong wind and current carried his boat away. The heartbroken boy knew how hard he would have to work to build another sailboat.

            Farther down the river, a man found that little boat, took it to town, and sold it at a pawn shop. Later that day, as the boy was walking through town, he noticed the boat in the store window.

            He quickly went into the store and told the owner that the boat belonged to him, it had his own little marks on it, but he couldn’t prove to the store owner that the boat was his. The man told him the only way he could get the boat was to buy it. The boy wanted it back so badly that he did exactly that.

            As he took the boat from the hand of the shopkeeper, he looked at it and said, “Little boat, you’re twice mine. I made you and I bought you.”

            All of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord are twice God’s! God created us and on the cross, God bought us!

            In Disney’s animated movie Toy Story, Woody (a plush toy cowboy) confronts Buzz Lightyear (a toy astronaut) with the fact that he is only an action figure and not really a space hero. Early in the movie Woody shouts, “You’re not a space ranger! You’re an action figure—a child’s plaything.”

            Only after failing to fly, Buzz realizes the truth of Woody’s statement. Grief-stricken and disillusioned, Buzz hangs his head in resignation, declaring, “I’m just a stupid, little, insignificant toy.”

            Woody later seeks to comfort his friend by underscoring the love of the boy who owns them both. “You must not be thinking clearly. Look, over in that house, there’s a kid who thinks you’re the greatest, and it’s not because you’re a space ranger; it’s because you’re his.”

            As Buzz lifts his foot, he sees a label affixed to the bottom of his little shoe. There in black permanent ink is the name of the little boy to whom he belongs. Seeing the image of his owner, Buzz breaks into a smile and takes on a new determination to save the day.

(4) God Will Use His Resources To Meet All My Needs.

Philippians 4:19

¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

            If you have lived much life at all, you are probably well aware that putting your trust in the economy, your employer, or your bank account is not a good idea. They are all fair-weather friends. They all can be helping you greatly one minute, and then the next everything has changed.

God, however is always faithful. That is why we should always be trust God, and God alone, as our supply! It doesn’t matter if there is a financial crisis, if you get laid off, or your 401k loses 37% – God will still supply all your needs, just like He promised.

            God’s message to us in good times and turbulent times is always the same, “Everything belongs to me…including you and all your needs. I will gladly use some of My riches in glory to take care of everything you will ever need. Can you trust Me to do that?”

            True financial peace comes when we transfer the title deed of all we have, and all we are, back to God who owns it, and who gave it.

            We say to God, “Everything I have belongs to You. I thank You for giving it to me. Today I place it back into Your hand and acknowledge You as the rightful owner, and I am blessed to be Your caretaker. I will trust You to take care of all I have, and all I need. You always have in the past, and You promise You always will in the future.”

            Do you think you could do that today?

            Do you believe if you did you could have financial peace, regardless of whether the stock market is on the way up, or on the way down?

            It is said that Queen Victoria, who reigned over England for over 63 years said, “I wish Jesus would come back in my lifetime. I would lay my crown at his feet.”

Would you be willing to do the same?

It’s Best To Look In The Mirror Before Looking Out The Window!

Matthew 7:1-5

                ¹ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye.

            In C.S. Lewis’s, The Chronicles Of Narnia, there is a character named Puddleglum. What a descriptive name! “Puddleglum.” You can almost tell what he is like can’t you?

            According to C.S. Lewis’s imagination, Puddleglum is a Marsh-wiggle who lives in a wigwam in the Eastern Marshes. He is known for expecting the worst possible scenario in every situation. When the children first meet Puddleglum, he is fishing for eels, and he tells them he does not expect to catch any eels, but ends up catching a dozen or so. One of the children described Puddleglum as “a wet blanket.”

            Let me introduce Puddleglum to you in his own words, from the book The Silver Chair, in the Chronicles of Narnia.

            “Puddleglum’s my name. But it doesn’t matter if you forget it. I can always tell you again.” (SC, Ch. 5)

            “Why, it’s not in reason that you should like our sort of [food], though I’ve no doubt you’ll put a bold face on it. All the same, while I am a catching [eels], if you two could try to light the fire—no harm trying—! The wood’s behind the wigwam. It may be wet. You could light it inside the wigwam, and then we’d get all the smoke in our eyes. Or you could light it outside, and then the rain would come and put it out. Here’s my tinder-box. You wouldn’t know how to use it, I expect.” (SC, Ch. 5)

            “Those eels will take a mortal long time to cook, and either of you might faint with hunger before they’re done. I knew a little girl—but I’d better not tell you that story. It might lower your spirits, and that’s a thing I never do.” (SC, Ch. 5)

            “And you must always remember there’s one good thing about being trapped down here: It’ll save funeral expenses.” (SC, Ch. 14)

            C. S. Lewis’ inspiration for Puddleglum came from Fred Paxford (1898 – 1979), who served as a handyman, a gardener, and occasional cook for over 30 years at Lewis’ home (the Kilns) in Oxford. Paxford was described as “a simple and earthy man who might be called a cheerful, eternal pessimist.” If someone said “good morning” to Paxford, he might respond by saying “Ah, looks like rain before lunch though if it doesn’t snow or hail that is.”

            Do you know any Puddleglum’s in your life?

            You know what I’m talking about…people who are quick to criticize, find fault, and complain about everything and everyone.

            They are fun to be around, aren’t they?

            They make life such a joy, don’t they?

            Why do people do that?

            Why are they so quick to judge, find fault, and criticize?

            Are they that much more superior and perfect than everyone else?

            Why is it that some folks are known for nothing more than having a “critical spirit?”

            A “critical spirit,” is an obsessive attitude of criticism and fault-finding, which seeks to tear others down.

            A person with a critical spirit usually dwells on the negative, looks for flaws rather than good things. They’re a complainer, usually always upset, and generally have a problem or a complaint about something. They often have little control over their tongue, their temper, and have tendencies for gossip and slander.

            Have you ever wondered what causes people to have a critical spirit?

            For one thing, I think it is insecurity. Criticism is often a subconscious means to “elevate one’s own self image.” We may not think it, but when we tear other people down, it makes us feel like we are raising ourselves up.

            Another reason for a critical spirit is immaturity. People who have not grown spiritually may still act like a child. They may see other people who are growing and developing in their faith and feel threatened by it, due to their lack of growth. This jealousy causes people to focus on the flaws and shortcomings of others, instead of working to deal with their own.

            A third reason for a critical spirit is a mind that has not been renewed by the transforming power of God.

            Romans 12:2 says:

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

            Put-downs, making-fun-of, criticism, sarcasm are the world’s ways of reacting to the faults of people. However, as Christians we don’t behave this way. Our thinking and attitude should be renewed by the Word of God, which teaches us to bear the infirmities of the weak, to love, and show compassion and encouragement (Rom. 12:2).

            And finally, I think a critical spirit is a symptom of evil. In the Bible, in the Book of Revelation, Satan is referred to as “the accuser of our brothers and sisters.”

            Listen to that verse from Revelation 12:10:

¹⁰ Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.

            Are you an accuser of the brothers and sisters?

            I think we need to remind ourselves that to be overcome by a critical spirit is to be under the influence of evil!

            The Bible tells us how we are to use the words that come out of our mouths. In Ephesians 4:29 the Bible says:

                ²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

            When Jesus was teaching us in the Sermon on the Mount how to get along with others, He spoke about having a “critical spirit.”

            Let’s look at what He had to teach us.

(1) A critical spirit toward others is a sign of a deeper issue within (Matthew 7:3).

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3)

            Jesus describes people who can always find the worst in every person and every situation.

            Do you know people like that?

            They are folks who are quick to spot every thing wrong with others, but they never seem to see anything wrong with themselves.

            I heard a story once about a little boy named Andrew. While visiting a neighbor, five-year-old Andrew pulled out his kindergarten class picture and immediately began describing each classmate. Here is what he said: “This is Robert; he hits everyone. This is Stephen. He never listens to the teacher. This is Mark. He chases us and is very noisy.” Pointing to his own picture, Andrew commented, “And this is me. I’m just sitting here minding my own business.”

            Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout this country on the powerful, and often negative, impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, another person. Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands, signifying “yes.” Others laugh, and quite a large number call out, “no!”

The Rabbi responds: “Those who can’t answer ‘yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you cannot go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol. If you cannot go 24 hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. Similarly, if you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.”

(2) People tend to criticize the worst in others what they hate the most in themselves (Matthew 7:4).

⁴ How can you say, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

            Have you ever thought that maybe what people find most offensive in others is the very thing they are struggling with in their own lives…and maybe at an even greater level?

            In his book Confessions of a Pastor, Craig Groeschel tells a story that happened to him:

            One time I was praying during worship, a few moments before preaching. Eyes closed, focusing on God, I felt someone slip a note into my hand. I never saw who it was, but the note was marked “Personal.” I thought to myself, Someone probably wrote a nice note to encourage me before I preach. A warm, loving feeling settled over me as I unfolded the paper.

A moment later, I lost that loving feeling.

            Evidently, the note was from a woman who had tried to see me on Friday, my day off. She took offense at my absence and blasted me with hateful accusations. This happened literally seconds before I was to stand up to preach. In that moment, I had a choice. I could internalize the offense and become demoralized and discouraged. Or I could ask myself, I wonder what she’s experiencing that caused her to lash out?

            I chose compassion over depression. My heart hurt for her. I knew that such a disproportionate reaction must indicate deep pain, so I didn’t take her note personally.

            Here’s what Groeschel wants us to know from this story:

            It’s a fact that “hurt people hurt people.” They usually dislike themselves and criticize others in a misguided effort to validate themselves. If one of these injured souls lobs a criticism grenade in your direction, defuse it with understanding. Part of considering the source is seeking awareness of what that person may be going through…

Consider the source. And consider the possibility that the jab may have come from an injured heart. Dismiss it and move on. If you don’t, you may become the very thing you despise.

            Pastor Groeschel is right. The next time you are on the receiving end of a critical spirit you might try two responses. First, just say to yourself, “Hello Puddleglum!” Just don’t say it out loud! Secondly, you need to remind yourself that they person spewing out all this hurt is a hurting person and they need help. As Groeschel says, “Consider the source.” Give them the compassion, forgiveness, and grace they need. Then, move on!

            Thomas à Kempis once said:

            Be not angry that you cannot make others as you want them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.

(3) It is best to look in the mirror before looking out the window (Matthew 7:5).

⁵ …first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye. (Matthew 7:5)

            Do you see what Jesus means?

            Before we are to look out the window to fix the problems of others, we would be wise to look in the mirror and see our own. Jesus would have us “fix” us, before we try to “fix” others!

            A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.

            The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young

woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

            ‘That laundry is not very clean’, she said.

‘She doesn’t know how to wash correctly.

Perhaps she needs better laundry detergent.’

            Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

            Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the

young woman would make the same comments.

            About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a

nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

            ‘Look, our neighbor has finally learned how to wash clothes correctly.

 I wonder who taught her this?’

            The husband said, ‘I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.’

            And so it is with life. What we see when watching others

depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

            In James 2:13 the Bible says, “…mercy triumphs over judgment.”

            When Jesus looks at us, He doesn’t see our sin, though it is abundant. He sees His sacrifice which washes us clean. Instead of judgment, Jesus offers us mercy.

            And He tells us that we are to love others, as He has loved us.

            In this world, there is nothing else but sinful, flawed people.

            Will you allow mercy to triumph over judgment in your dealings with them?

            And may Jesus offer us the same judgment that we offer others!

“How To Know If I Am Growing Spiritually”

           A statement from Jesus has been on my mind lately: “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40).

          If I hear Him correctly, Jesus’ goal for His followers, His “disciples,” is to be “like Him.”

          That realization has got me to thinking, “Am I more like Jesus today than I was a year ago?”

          I remember reading an article some time back that asked 10 questions to help keep us focused on our spiritual growth. As I recall, these were those 10 questions:

1. Are you more thirsty for God than ever before?

2. Are you more and more loving?

3. Are you more sensitive to and aware of God than ever before?

4. Are you governed more and more by God’s Word?

5. Are you concerned more and more with the physical and spiritual needs of others?

6. Are you more and more concerned with the Church and the Kingdom of God?

7. Are the disciplines of the Christian life more and more important to you?

8. Are you more and more aware of your sin?

9. Are you more and more willing to forgive others?

10. Are you thinking more and more of heaven and of being with the Lord Jesus?

          What do you think? Based on those questions, “Are you more like Jesus today, than last year?”

          I know when I look at those questions, I know I have a lot of growth ahead! As a matter of fact, I had better get started working on that right now!

          Care to join me?

How To Turn Loose Of Relationship Clutter

 Matthew 6:12, 14, 15

12 …forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us… 14 ”If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

            Have you ever seen the TV show “Clean House?” Some months ago I was channel surfing and came across it. I was fascinated instantly. The premise behind the show is simple: the “Clean House” crew arrives at a home that has requested their assistance in dealing with out of control clutter. Upon arrival they go through the house with the owners examining the mess and hearing the story of how things got into the mess they see. The Clean House crew offers to help the family get organized, and provides painting, flooring and other needed improvements, if the family will get rid of the unnecessary junk and clutter in a yard sale. It’s at this point where the tension begins. There always seems to be a real reluctance on the part of the homeowners to turn loose of their clutter, even if it has completely filled up every room in their house.

            One thing I’ve noticed in watching “Clean House” is that the clutter and mess in these people’s homes always affects the relationships among the family members. Rooms filled with old junk, clothes, furniture, and collectibles puts serious stress on relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children. 

            The clutter begins to come between the family members. By the end of “Clean House” the family finds that getting rid of all these old, unnecessary items has not only improved the look of their home, but has changed the mood in their family as well.

            The show “Clean House” makes me wonder, “Do we allow the clutter in our relationships to come between us and those we love?”

            “What kind of clutter causes damage in our relationships?”

            Do you have relationships today that are damaged because of all the clutter you have allowed to build up over the years?

            Every hurtful thing that person has said to you, every time you have been wronged by them…do you let all that build up in your relationships until your relationships are damaged?

            The key to all healthy relationships:  whether it is with God, or with others, is forgiveness.

            Relationships are maintained, healed and restored by forgiveness.

            Forgiveness is what removes the clutter of past hurts, relationship wounds, and nagging grudges.

            Today I want us to think about what Jesus teaches us about how to turn loose of relationship clutter.

            If your spirit is in need of a “Clean House” today, you have come to the right place!

            In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us three central truths to cleaning out clutter in our relationships.

 1) God’s forgiveness clears out the clutter in our spiritual lives.

            In Isaiah 59:2 the Bible says, “It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins he has turned away and will not listen anymore” (NLT).

            Another translation puts it this way: “…your iniquities have been barriers between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you” (NRSV).

 

            Sin clutters up our relationship with God and with other people. It causes barriers between God and us. Sin cuts us off from a relationship with God.

            Before our relationship with God can be right we need to “clean house.” The clutter has to go. Since our sin is against God, we owe God a debt. Only God can take care of our sin. Only God can clean out the clutter that cuts us off from God.

            Since it is sin that creates barriers between us and God, sin is our biggest problem and our biggest enemy that we face in life.

            Since our greatest problem is sin, our greatest need in life is forgiveness.

            It is forgiveness of sin that clears out the clutter.

            Bible scholar John Stott has written, “Forgiveness is as indispensable to the life and health of the soul as food is for the body.”

            Thankfully the God whom we sin against is a God of forgiveness.

            The Bible says, “…You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love” (Nehemiah 9:17).

            God has provided a way to remove the clutter that sins cause from our lives.

            “…If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9, NLT).

            Psalm 103:8 tells us that God “has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”

            God’s forgiveness cleans out the clutter in our spiritual lives, and gives us a new beginning!

2) Our forgiveness of others clears out the clutter in our personal lives.

            Jesus taught us that we are to forgive others just as God has forgiven us. We are taught to pray that God would forgive us in the same way that we forgive others.

            Every relationship that we have will experience the need for regular forgiveness. The very nature of flawed, sinful human beings in relationships with one another brings with it a multitude of misunderstandings, words spoken in anger, frustration and retaliation, thoughtless actions, and selfishness.

            What we do with the inevitable hurts, bruises, and wounds of relationships determines whether these relationships are healthy or dysfunctional.

            In 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love “keeps no record of being wronged” (NLT).

            Do you keep a record of all the times someone has wronged you? Can you recall every hurtful word, and every painful action that someone has done to you?

            One day two men were fishing together when one man said to the other, “Last night my wife and I had an argument and she got historical.”

            The second man replied, “You mean she got hysterical.”

            The first man said, “No, she went historical. She brought up every wrong thing I have ever done.”

            Do you get historical in your relationships?

            Do you have a record in your mind or heart of all the wrongs that have been done to you?

            Do you see how that clutters up your heart, your soul, and your mind?

            Do you see how all that junk hurts your relationship with other people, and with God?

            Healthy relationships are known for their high level of forgiveness. Without forgiveness the hurts of the past continue to clutter up our relationships causing distance among us and loss of intimacy.

            The Bible tells us that we are to forgive each other as God has forgiven us through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:31).

            That means the forgiveness we receive from God for our sins can enable us to forgive others who sin against us.

            An old Puritan writer once said, “There is none so tender to others as they which have received mercy themselves, for they know how gently God [has] dealt with them.”

            The word Jesus uses for “forgive” (aphiemi) means literally “to throw away.” That is a great description of forgiveness! Forgiveness means to take that clutter in your relationship that is cutting you off from those you love, and throw it away.

            When it comes to sin, the hurts, wounds and grudges you have collected from your relationships, this is not the time to be a pack rat!

            The more you hang on to all this clutter, the more it works against the health of your relationships.

A school teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to class.

She instructed her students to think of every person they had a grudge against. For every person they refused to forgive, they took a potato, wrote on it the name of the person and date, and put it in the plastic bag.

The teacher told the students to carry this bag with them everywhere they went, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat next to them when driving, on their lap when riding, next to their desk during classes.

Some bags became really heavy. Lugging this around, paying attention to it all the time, and remembering not to leave it in embarrassing places was a hassle.

Over time the potatoes became moldy, they started to smell, and began to sprout “eyes.”

Often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but it clearly is a gift to ourselves.

            Forgiveness, the regular throwing away of past hurts, grievances, and resentments, is at the heart of healthy relationships.

            What in your life do you need to forgive and throw away? What hurtful word spoken to you? What thoughtless act committed against you? What wrong that was done to you?

            The price of keeping that clutter in your life is costly to the health of your personal life and your relationships.

            Aren’t you tired of carrying that heavy sack of unforgiveness around with you, every moment of every day?

            Throw it out.

            You can do it.

            God will help you.

3) Unforgiveness in our lives clutters up our relationship with God and everyone else.

            Jesus makes it clear that our spiritual lives and our personal lives are all interconnected. The health of one affects the health of the other. Forgiveness is the medicine that makes our spiritual lives and our personal lives healthy.

            Jesus said, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15, NLT).

            Unhealthy spiritual lives affect our personal lives. Unhealthy personal lives affect our spiritual life.

            Unforgiveness in our lives toward others clutters up our relationship with God.

            Unforgiveness in our spiritual lives clutters up our relationship with others.

 

            Do you see how unhealthy clutter like sin and unforgiveness affects every part of our lives?

            The farther we are from God because of sin, the more it affects our relationships with others.

            The farther we are from others because of unforgiveness, the more if affects our relationship with God.

            Do you need to “Clean House” in your heart?

            Do you have some clutter in your life that has caused barriers between you and God?

            Will you confess it to God today and let God clean out that clutter that is coming between you and God?

            Do you have some clutter in your life that is causing barriers between you and your spouse, your children, your parents, your brothers and sisters, your neighbor, a co-worker, or a member of your church?

            Would you be wiling to forgive and to throw out all that junk that is causing the division in your relationship?

            A Bible scholar once wrote, “Once our eyes have been opened to see the enormity of our offence against God, the injuries which others have done to us appear by comparison extremely trifling.”

            If for nothing else, to forgive others for the sins they commit against you, is to rid yourself of the clutter that has built up in your heart, soul, and mind.

            Even though some of this junk occurred years ago, it is still cluttering up your life and your relationships today.

            Wouldn’t you like to get rid of that junk in your life?

            There is no reason that today can’t be the day that you “Clean House” and remove the clutter that is standing between you, God, and your relationship with others.

How To Love The Unloving

Matthew 5:43-48

43 ”You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

 

 

            Do you have an iPhone?

            I don’t, but there are times when I see them that I have struggles with the temptation to covet.

            One of the interesting features about iPhones are the endless array of applications that can be put on your phone. For example, you can get a Pizza Hut app that allows you to order Pizza Hut pizzas online. One of my boys saw a commercial for that and asked, “Couldn’t you just use your iPhone to call up Pizza Hut and order a pizza?”

            But I digress…

            One of the applications you can download to your iPhone is called Pocket God.

            Have you heard about Pocket God? It’s one of the top-selling video game applications for Apple’s iPhone. Here’s the way the game is described on iTunes:

            What kind of god would you be? Benevolent or vengeful? Play Pocket God and discover the answer within yourself. On a remote island, you are the all-powerful god that rules over the primitive islanders. You can bring new life, and then take it away just as quickly.

            The application allows you the option to play games with the islanders that include

throwing islanders into volcanoes,

using islanders as shark bait,

bowling for islanders with a large rock, or

creating earthquakes to destroy the islanders’ villages.

            It sounds like the creators of Pocket God think participants will only want to play the role of a vengeful God?

            Does that also mean they think that a vengeful God is the only kind of God participants can picture in their minds?

 

            If you could be God, what type of God would you be?

            Would you be “benevolent or vengeful?”

 

            It is a good thing that none of us are God, because we all have to fight the tendency for vengeance, retribution, and unforgiveness at times in our lives.

 

            Max Lucado writes in his book The Applause Of Heaven about a big, muscle-bound man named Daniel who was swindled by his own brother. He vowed that if he ever saw him again, he would break his neck. A few months later, Daniel became a Christian. Even so, he couldn’t forgive his brother.

            One day, the inevitable encounter took place on a busy avenue.      This is how Daniel described what happened:

            I saw him, but he didn’t see me. I felt my fists clench and my face get hot. My initial impulse was to grab him around the throat and choke the life out of him. But as I looked into his face, my anger began to melt. For as I saw him, I saw the image of my father. I saw my father’s eyes. I saw my father’s look. I saw my father’s expression. And as I saw my father in his face, my enemy once again became my brother.

            Sure enough, the brother did find himself wrapped in those big arms—but it was a hug and not a choke. The two just stood there in the middle of that river of people, held each other, and wept tears of forgiveness.

            Daniel’s words deserve a second hearing: “When I saw the image of my father in his face, my enemy became my brother.”

            Christianity at its root, is about Jesus Christ so radically transforming humanity that it is possible for enemies to become family, and even the most hurtful of wounds, to be healed and forgiven.

            Have you ever thought about all the people in your life who keep you from getting what you want, or doing what you want to do? How do you feel about those people?

            Do they frustrate you?

            Do they make you angry?

            Do you feel like they oppose you?

            In civilized America, we have a hard time admitting it, but don’t you feel like they are your enemies…they are not on your side, they are working against you.

            Your life would be better if they were not in it, wouldn’t it?

            I was reading an article on the problems in the Middle East this week and I came across this quote:

            “Peace, as Augustine said, is what we were made for and what we (normally) yearn for. But we do have a strand within human nature that licks its chops at the prospect of our enemy’s destruction, even if it results in our own destruction as well.”

            Dallas Willard wrote in his book Divine Conspiracy:

 “Few of us manage to go through life without collection a group of individuals who would not be sorry to learn we have died…By far most of the people who have lived on earth have been confronted with certain kinds of other people—other “tribes”—who would gladly kill them.”

            It should be no surprise to you, but Jesus has another way for human beings to exist.

            In fact, while Jesus does not deny the reality of enemies—people we just do not want to be around in our lives…or who want to be around us—Jesus proposes a radical way to deal with them…turn them into friends with love.

            Let’s look at what Jesus says from the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew:

1) Love is not meant for those who deserve it, but for those who need it (Matthew 5:43-44).

43 ”You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

            When do we need love the most…when we are out our most lovable or least lovable?

            When do we need prayer the most, when we are at our best or at our worst?

            Jesus says, “Love people when they are least lovable and need love most. Pray for people when they are at their worst and need prayer most.”

 

            There is a story told about a mother who came to Napoleon on behalf of her son, who was about to be executed. The mother asked the ruler to issue a pardon, but Napoleon pointed out that it was the man’s second offense and justice demanded death.

            “I don’t ask for justice,” the woman replied. “I plead for mercy.”

            The emperor objected, “But your son doesn’t deserve mercy.”

            “Sir,” the mother replied, “it would not be mercy if he deserved it, and mercy is all I ask.”

            Her son was granted the pardon.

            When we love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, what we are doing, is seeking their best interests in life—it’s not what they deserve, but it is what they need.

            Unloving people do not deserve love, but it is love that they need.

            Now look at a second thought:

2) Loving those who are unloving is a reflection of God’s love in me (Matthew 5:45-47.

45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.

            Do you see why Jesus tells us to “love enemies and pray for them”?

            Jesus says in this way we take on the nature of our Heavenly Father.

            Do you know what Jesus is saying to us by that? What does it mean for us to be children of our Heavenly Father?

            It means we are to love like God loves.

            How does God love?

            Our Father in Heaven is not partial or particular in who He shows love to.

            God shines His love like the sun on all people with no discrimination.

            God showers His love like rain on all people with no distinction.

            God loves all people, those who love God, and those who don’t; those who go to church and those who don’t; those who follow Jesus Christ and those who don’t.

            Jesus gives a specific example of God’s love. Have you ever noticed how God sends the rain upon believers in God and atheists? When it rains, it rains on Methodists, Baptists, Catholics, agnostics, cynics, and unbelievers…all the same.

            When the sun rises each day, it rises to shine on those who love God and praise God, and on those who don’t give God a passing thought.

            Jesus wants us to understand that God’s love is for all people—not just for people who deserve to be loved.

            Jesus helps us to understand that the children of God are to love in the same way as God the Father does—indiscriminately—and not just to love those who love us.

            When we ask the question, “Why am I commanded to love enemies?” Jesus would say:

            “Because that will mark my followers as different, with hearts and minds turned over to God alone, who can help them do just that.”

            Jesus says, “It is easy to love our neighbor and hate our enemies” but I am calling My followers to live differently from the rest of world.

            “If you follow Me,” Jesus says, “you will transform the world, not just go along with it.”

            Listen to Dallas Willard on this:

            “Jesus does not call us to do what He did, but to be as he was, permeated with love. Then the doing of what he did and said becomes the natural expression of who we are in him.”

            Finally, think about this:

3) I am the most whole when I love those who are the most broken (Matthew 5:48).

48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

            You’ve often heard the saying, “Nobody’s perfect, right?”

            But Jesus commands us to “be perfect just as our heavenly Father is perfect.”

            In you follow the sequence of Jesus’ teaching in this passage, it logically sounds like Jesus is defining “perfection” in this life as the ability to love all people, even those who do not love you.”

            John Wesley taught Methodists that we were to “go on to perfection.” By that he meant we were to have our hearts filled with love for God and for our neighbor.”

            Jesus defined “neighbor” as any person we encounter in our lives.

            We are to love others, as completely as God loves us.

            Think of perfection, not as flawless or never making mistakes, but in the sense of wholeness or completeness. We are commanded by Jesus, to work toward wholeness—in our own lives, and in the lives of other people—especially people who are the most broken.
            Jesus has a set of higher expectations on those of us who are His followers.
            We are told to be perfect, in the sense of whole, and the way we become whole is by love—love for God, and love for others.

            It is the sense of wholeness—we are to be all that God has called us to be—that is best experienced when we have the ability to love our neighbor, even if our neighbor does not deserve our love.

            In 1976 when Muhammad Ali was getting ready to defend the heavyweight title against Jean Pierre Coopman of Belgium. Now these two guys were supposed to step into a boxing ring and punch each other for 15 rounds. To do something like you have to develop a certain level of ill will toward the opponent.

            It was obvious from the first press conference that Jean Pierre Coopman was a big fan of Muhammad Ali. Instead of the usual tough words and stare down for the cameras, Coopman kept hugging Ali and kissing his hand and asking for autographs.
            Finally Ali said “How am I supposed to get myself mad enough to fight this guy if he keeps hugging me and kissing me? He’s taking all the fight out of me!”
            That’s exactly what Jesus wants us to do! He wants us to love our enemies so much that it takes the fight out of them! Romans 12:21 says “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

            When Jesus went to the cross, he did so to take all of the fight, the bitterness, and the brokenness, out of this world, one transformed person and relationship, at a time.

            Do you really think what Jesus is teaching works?

            Would you be willing to give it a try in order to find out?

            Take a moment and think of the most unloving person you know.

            Would you be willing for the next seven days, to put the words of Jesus into practice, and to love this unlovable person, and to pray God’s best in the life of this person?

            For seven days, make up your mind that you will treat this person with love, no matter how they act in response.

            Why should we do this?

            Because Jesus teaches that love is not for those who deserve it, but for those who need. And who needs love more than the unloving?

            Why should we do this?

            Because when we love others we are the most like children of our Heavenly Father.

            Why should we do this?

            Because when we love the unloving we help the broken to become whole, and we find our own brokenness made whole as well!

            Why should we do this?

            Because Jesus said this is the way to transform the world…one person, and one relationship at a time.

What Kills Relationships (And What Can Bring Them Back To Life Again)

Matthew 5:21-26

21 ”You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
  23 ”So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
  25 ”When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.

             Today we begin a new series called The Jesus Method For

Getting Along With Others.

            It comes from Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount” found in the Gospel of Matthew chapters 5 through 7.

            For the next few weeks I want us to consider some of the things Jesus had to say about such topics as:

Anger and reconciliation Matthew 5:21-26

How to deal with abusive relationships Matthew 5:38-42

What Jesus meant for us to do when He said, “Love your enemies as you love your neighbors” Matthew 5:43-48,

Why we should forgive, for our sakes as well as others Matthew 6:12, 14, 15,

What to do with someone who has a critical spirit, even if the person is you Matthew 7:1-5

 

            Jesus spent a lot of time talking about getting along with other people. He knew relationships are a challenge. In fact, the whole story of God and humanity, is the story of God who wants a relationship with each of us, and how hard it is for us to be reconciled to God, so much so, that we needed the help of Jesus Christ, to make it possible.

            The Gospel is about getting along with others. First, getting along with God. Then, getting along with one another.

            So today we take a look at the first installment in the Jesus Method for getting along with others.

            This teaching is called,

            “What Kills Relationships (And What Can Bring Them To Life Again).”

 

            Some years ago there was a show on CNN called “Crossfire.” Did you ever watch it? For many years I watched it regularly.

            In a nutshell, Crossfire was designed to bring two opposing sides together and have them argue it out over a particular topic. Each show had 2 hosts with opposing views, and two guests with opposing views. For 30 minutes each night they ranted and raved about the merits of their particular position and the flaws with the position of the other side.

            In their advertising, Crossfire described their show as:

“left versus right,

black versus white,

paper versus plastic,

the Red Sox against the Yankees.”

            For a while I thought this was all good fun, until I began to get tired of the endless bickering that produced little result. Crossfire became a show that had a lot of heat but very little light. After a while I stopped watching it all together.

            And when I did, I missed the appearance of comedian Jon Stewart.

            Today Jon Stewart is the host of the highly acclaimed show on Comedy Central called “The Daily Show.” It is a “mock” news show, where the current events of the day are ridiculed and made fun of. In fact, young people are more likely to get their “news” from the Daily Show than from the traditional media.

            One night, Jon Stewart was on Crossfire. He had been critical of the show and they brought him on as the only guest.

            They thought he would do some comedy but he didn’t. In fact, his first words on the show were:

“Why do we have to fight?”

            Stewart spent the rest of the show calling into question just how much good is done in a spirit of criticism, name calling, and anger. He questioned if Crossfire was doing any good, or just weakening our country.

“Why do we have to fight?” Stewart asked.

            It was such a good question the hosts of the show could not come up with a satisfactory answer in response.

            Believe it or not, not long after Jon Stewart’s appearance on Crossfire, the show was cancelled.

            Even today you can find Stewart’s appearance still playing on YouTube.

 So why do we have to fight?

            I read somewhere that we live in an “argument culture.”  And because of it there has been a system-wide relational breakdown in our culture. It is as if we approach everything with a warlike mentality so we end up looking at the world – and people – in an adversarial frame of mind.

            Think of it this way: You are driving in your car down the road (any road, you pick it).

            Suddenly out of nowhere a cars pulls out in front of you, cuts you off, and then slams on the brakes.

            What do you do next?

            You lay on the horn. You begin to use words that you would not say in church…at a very loud level. You wave at the driver…you know the wave…the one where you don’t use all your fingers…

            Only a moment before you were peacefully driving down the road and now all of the sudden you are in attack mode…at a person you do not even know!

            That’s what it means to say we live in an “argument culture.”  

            So how’s that working out for us?

            Jesus talked about this “argument culture” in the Sermon on the Mount. He told us what it does to our relationships, and what we can do to fix it.

            If you are interested, look with me in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5.

            First of all, Jesus taught us that:    

1) Anger is murder on relationships (Matthew 5:21-22).

21 ”You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.

            Anger kills.

            Jesus taught us that anger kills others. Anger kills relationships.

            But that’s not all. Anger kills us. The destructive power of anger is so great it not only is murder on relationships with others, but it destroys the person who harbors it as well.

            The Bible says in 1 John 3:15:

            “Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart” (NLT).

            Jesus said, “Calling people names like ‘idiot’ is just murder on our relationships.

            But what’s wrong with calling someone an “idiot?”

            It’s just a word, right?

            Remember when you were a child and you said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me?”

            You know now how wrong that was, don’t you?

            It sounded good, but it was not true.

            Words have power to do great good and great harm.

            The Bible says, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (Proverbs 18:21, NLT).

            The word translated “idiot” is a Greek work from which we get the word “moron.” To call someone an “idiot” means we view that person as a “numbskull,” “nit-wit,” or like they did in the Peanuts cartoons, a “blockhead.”

            These angry words have negative consequences. They can kill relationships.

            What Jesus is saying here goes even deeper than just words. Insulting people when we are angry at them—calling them “idiots”, “boneheads”, “airheads” and such is an attitude of the heart.

            The words have consequences themselves, but the attitude behind the words have consequences of their own.

            When we call someone an “idiot”, or a “fool” in some other translations, we are saying that person is a nobody—they are worthless, a zero, a nothing.

            When we insult, ridicule, and run down other people, we are forgetting that this “nobody”, this “foolish idiot” is made in the image of God. If we call a person made in God’s image “a foolish idiot, and a worthless nobody,” aren’t we saying the same thing about the God in whose image the person is made?

            When we strike out and insult someone in anger, we would do well to remember who it really is that we are talking about.

            Jesus teaches us the problem with anger is twofold:

1) It destroys our relationship with others (including God), and

2) It brings consequences on us. There is a price to pay for our anger.

            Anger is murder on relationships!

            The word “curse” in the New Living Translation is a literal sense of the teaching Jesus offers.

            It means to cast judgment on another person spiritually. To put it tactfully, it is to tell someone where you thing they should go.

            Interestingly, Jesus says, “If you tell someone where to go, you may find you end up going there yourself.”

            Secondly, Jesus taught:

2) Improve your relationship—Improve your worship (Matthew 5:23-24).

23 ”So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
            Unresolved conflict affects your relationship with God.

            Unresolved conflict is a priority.

            When we improve our relationships with others, it improves our relationship with God.

            Messed up relationships with other people leads us to have a messed up relationship with God.

            For years I had an office with these large windows that overlooked the church parking lot. On Sunday mornings I would sit and look out the window in the last few moments before going into the sanctuary for worship.

            As a result, I got to see most of the people arriving.

            I could tell the folks who had argued on the way to church. They got out of the car with strained looks on their faces. They didn’t walk beside each other on the way into the church. One charged off ahead of the other.

            I would often think to myself as I watched folks arrive, “It’s going to be tough in church today. We’re not going to do much worshiping today!”

            Of course when I got to the sanctuary the folks all greeted me with a huge smile and when I asked, “How are you?” they replied, “Just fine.”

            I didn’t believe it.

            It is difficult to have a wrong relationship with another person and a right relationship with God.

            Jesus said, “Relationships with others affect relationship with God. Go and get reconciled with that person, so you can come and really connect with God.”

            Finally, Jesus taught us to:

3) Settle differences now before things get worse (Matthew 5:25-26).

25 ”When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.

            There is a price to be paid for broken relationships.

            The price may be more than you think. It may cost you much more than you ever want to lose.

            Broken relationships can put us in bondage for the rest of our lives with guilt, baggage, and pain.

            Jesus says “settle your differences quickly.”

            Don’t waste time.

            Things could get worse than they already are, and the price will go up.

            Broken relationships are costly!

            Did you see the news coverage of the President, the Police Office, and the Professor” this week?

            Right there before our eyes was an example of Jesus’ teaching to “settle differences quickly” before things get worse!

            They were demonstrating how powerful words can be, and how important it is for people at odds with one another to be reconciled with each other. The cost is too great to do nothing and let things go.

            Who do you need to reconcile with?

            Are you willing to settle your differences quickly with them, before things get even worse?

            Do you realize how your strained relationships with others affects every aspect of your life…including your relationship with God?

            What are you going to do about it?

            When are you going to do it?

            What about today?

            What about now?